Shopping sucks

a few tips to make it better

Sep 08, 2024

I think we can all (mostly) agree that shopping sucks.

Even if you like shopping and are into fashion or clothes, it can be draining to physically drive to (often multiple) stores, try on (lots of) items, drive home and then lament how nothing looks the same in your closet as it did in the store.

Online shopping sucks even more. The options are endless. Nothing ever fits quite like you expect it to, despite meticulously reading the measurements and reviews. Ordering is a chore (I always recommend ordering 2 sizes). And then there are the returns. THE RETURNS!

What’s a person to do?

Here are my 4 tips to make shopping (slightly) better.

1. Strategize

I’m a broken record on this, but if you haven’t established your Structure of Style, start here. This creates your strategy for knowing what’s in your closet and what you need.

Once you have a grasp on your style, (note - this can/will shift. You don’t have to choose one style for the rest of your life - I just simply mean a grasp on what you like, don’t like, need, don’t need for this chunk of life right now) you can start to strategize.

Strategizing is writing a list of what you need (like, actually need). Here is how I determine what I actually need.

I consult my SHOP LIST. This is a note I have in my notes app. I specifically look at the section called CURRENT WANTS. These are items I’ve already written down that I’ve thought would be a good addition to my wardrobe. It’s a list based on the every day occurrences of getting dressed and thinking: “Ooh, this outfit would be really great with a thick, boxy, white t-shirt.” It’s not (usually) based on trends or influencers or what I’m seeing on IG. It’s coming from 1st hand, practical experience in my closet.

My SHOP LIST from the notes app in my phone. I keep my Vibe, Body Measurements, and list of items I want in here. I update the current wants section with items that I’ve thought about as I’ve gotten dressed that would enhance my wardrobe.

I go through my OTHER WANTS section and see jumps out at me. The other wants is just a longer list that spans seasons or types of clothing. The items on this last have been on here for a few years. This is great at showing me that I am perfectly fine without getting anything on this list or that what I already have works decently. Do I still want these things and consider them to be good additions to my wardrobe? Sure. But at some point down the line, I might change my mind and decide I don’t want them any more, so off the list they go.

Some of the specifics of this list make me laugh. High waisted linen cargo pants? WTF is that? Why did I want those? I don’t know and I certainly don’t want them now! Off the list they will go.

Finally, I’ll make a list of items I will budget / buy this season. This part of the list is usually extremely short for me. The only thing I plan to buy is a pair of Birkenstock sandals and that’s because I’ve fully worn out the ones I bought 10 years ago and want a new pair for an upcoming trip. My SHOP LIST functions as a practical shopping list where I can target shop for specific items while also acting as a manifestation list of sorts. I have had a few times where I’ve purchased something I knew I wanted/needed (example: sleeveless, black turtle neck top) and later when I consulted my LIST, realized it had written it down.

2. Narrow it down

Shopping is overwhelming because there are an endless number of options. Sometimes sorting through the options are a necessary evil, especially if you’re trying out different brands or just craving something new.

But in order to save your shopping stamina, I suggest you do the following:

Curate a list of brands or stores you know you like.
Do quick shopping trips.
Target the items on your list.

This style of narrowing down will streamline shopping because instead of wandering a store or scrolling a website looking for something that jumps out at you, you can hone in on specific racks, types of clothing, or colors to find what you’re looking for. The filter section on websites are a lifesaver.

You can go from 110 options to 5 in a matter of seconds:

before filtering:

after filtering:

3. De-personalize the process

The reason I adore the Structure of Style is that it puts things in black and white. You create a list of reasons based on facts on why you like or don’t like certain things. You learn to listen to your gut. You learn that shopping sucks, sizes are wack, and no brand is the same.

You also learn that the clothes are the problem, not you, not your body, not your style.

This is critical to the success of shopping. One of the reasons shopping sucks so much is that there are so many things that don’t fit, don’t look good on us, we don’t like - and we end up internalizing that thought process. “If so much isn’t working, surely it’s me.” No - it’s NOT you. It’s the commercialization and capitalization of the fashion industry that is, quite honestly, working double time against you.

Learning to separate your worth from the experiencing of shopping is necessary. Once you can enter a store and do a a quick, targeted trip based on you having already strategized and narrowed down, you are taking your power back. You are shopping on your terms, not settling for what the store has to offer you. Will you sometimes leave empty handed? You bet. But you probably already (truly) have enough clothes or can make do without what you set out to buy. Empty is better than settling.

4. Create systems for returns.

For the love of all that is your mental health, create a process for returns. Ignoring your returns or putting them off just wastes your money when you miss the return window, causes frustration, and keeps you in a cycle of belief that shopping sucks.

Here are my return rules:

Accept that if you are shopping, returns are a full part of the process. Factor this in.
Do not shop (especially online) if you do not have time to do the returns.
Know the return window (some stores/brands have a long return windows, others can be as short as one week or even a few days if you’re shopping certain second hand places).
Put the date of the return window in your calendar.
Once an item arrives, try it on. Listen to your gut. You know, the instant you put something on, if it’s for you or not.
If it’s a no, put it back in the packaging. Log into your laptop. Initiate the return. Print the return label. Package up the box. And put in your calendar the day you will go to the post office, UPS, or wherever to take that damn box back.

I’m sharing these tips because next week I’ll have a style offer I’ve been working on and it involves SHOPPING. I want you prepared.

THOUGHTS FOR YOU:

What are your biggest shopping challenges / or obstacles?
What questions do you have about shopping?
Where do you need help with shopping?

I will be answering these in next week’s Vogue[ish], so be sure to leave a comment.

Related style programs:

👉 NEW! Capsule Wardrobe | Fall 2024 Guide coming next week. This will be a shoppable lookbook for fall based on a curated color palette with 21 pieces and 30 outfit combinations. It will be priced at $49 and dropping next week.

👉 Style Lab is open! Style Lab is a 6 week, self-led style program. You’ll get a downloadable e-work book with chapters full of prompts and experiments to work through. This is the starter for creating your Structure of Style.

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