I read a style related article this morning that made me cringe a little.
You know the ones: to find your style, they tell you to search Pinterest for outfit inspiration and then give you a list of basics to buy. They are general-ish (you must have two sweaters!) but contain just specific enough information (one in grey, one navy!) to make it feel like style is within your grasp.
But these kind of instructions don’t work for me. If I’m pinning outfit inspiration photos, you can bet your butt they will be fantasy-esque and I’m choosing ball gowns, insane runway outfits, and editorials with creative, but very-not-for-real-life, makeup. As for buying sweaters, sure, I get I need a gray and navy one, but… What fabric? What neckline? What shape? Long sleeve or 3/4th? Does it have buttons, frills? Should they be the exact same sweater or different? Or, I go off and buy exactly what that list recommends and still feel like none of it works once it lands in my closet.
They’re frustrating and tend to just make me feel bad that I don’t have that level of effortless style. Sound or feel familiar?
The reason this type of advice can cause more confusion than clarity is that, for most women, it gives you a false sense of fashion confidence that is liable to change the next time another list comes around.
What’s left out of this advice is the background work that has to be invested into your sense of self and style before you can just up and buy things from a list.
But let's back up, because years ago, as a new stylist, I was writing similar articles.
[Photo: a collaboration with my friend Sarah’s former business, ReRunner.]
When I was working in-person with clients, you would often find me knee deep in clients’ closets pulling things out and tossing them into a trash bags to donate (sorry Laura, I know you’re reading this!). I had a myriad of “Women’s Basics” checklists (they were so comprehensive it was overwhelming) coupled with celebrity photos to match up to my clients’ style archetypes.
While the basis of my styling business had always been a client first approach - that approach was very much driven by me, the “professional.” I had stuck closely to the model that I had been taught: send a questionnaire, make a moodboard, clean out a closet, go shop, make outfits. I worked hard to get into my clients’ lives, personalities, goals and minds to help them cultivate a wardrobe that reflected who they were and what felt good to them, but it was an approach that positioned me as the one in charge, the one with the final say. Clients would look to me for permission on what to keep or toss and what to buy or wear.
I want to point out that this is not inherently a wrong approach. Some clients want and do pay a professional to cultivate their style for them. It’s an approach that saves them time and mental bandwidth.
But I also believe that approach can prevent you from finding and developing your own sense of self and style.
And so it’s not my approach any longer.
Over the years, through working with clients, and undergoing my own personal growth process (divorce has a way of reckoning with you), I developed a different approach for women to find and develop that grounded sense of self and style.
And it starts with you doing the pulling, not me.
With the revamp of my style coaching programs, I now approach style development through a combination of structure, checklists, personal development and experimentation that is client driven, stylist guided. All of my programs are virtual and I believe in a “teach a woman to shop and she’ll be able to shop for life” philosophy.
This approach is not for everyone. But it is very much for the woman who wants to learn, once and for all, how to navigate her style and not feel like she’s at the whim and mercy of trends, sales associates, or lists of must have basics.
If you are a touchy-feely, visual person, this approach might feel cold and regimented to you.
If you are highly intellectual, this process might feel too simple for you.
But if you have checklist energy, creating your Structure of Style is going to move you from a place of indecision and unease to a place of easy style decisions (with practice).
So back to the background work that I believe must be done before cleaning out a closet, before shopping, before putting together outfits.
The basic wardrobe checklists tend to forget that most women have never been taught what I call Style Foundations; 4 fundamental style components that you need in order to approach those lists (or a closet clean out or even getting dressed) with a grounded knowledge of self and style.
Knowing your Style Foundations takes away the guess work women put themselves through when it comes to figuring out or updating their style.
Okay, Sydney - get to it!!
Here are the four components that make up your Style Foundations.
The four components are:
VIBE. I use a combo of words + images to teach my clients to find their vibe. It’s more than choosing a style archetype (you know: preppy, boho, or classic) and it’s more than a vision board (pinning outfits of your favorite celebs or influencers). It’s digging in to your essence as a person and expressing that via a medium that means something to you. I find this process takes several drafts and a few weeks, especially if you’ve never dug this deep before.
BODY. Knowing your body measurements is one of the most empowering things you can do - once you’re done body shaming yourself and feeling embarrassed. Your body is your body is your body. It’s strong and it serves you every day. Taking your measurements gives you simple facts about your today body that will guide your shopping and dressing decisions. That’s it.
COLORS. This is simply choosing a list of colors you like and colors you don’t like (so you can never buy them again! At least for now). You truly don’t need to get your colors done (my unfiltered hot take here: color analysis is a scam).
SHAPE. One of my favorite ways to create a wardrobe that is fun and functional is to fill it with a variety of silhouettes designed to support your body and that make you feel good. If you’re one of those people who buys the exact same item in every colors and then wonders why your closet doesn’t work well for you, you need to explore shape.
These four components are the things you have to learn about yourself in order to make more educated shopping and getting dressed decisions. They are part of your overall Structure of Style, a simple checklist or filter that, once you learn it, is easily adaptable to whatever phase or change of life you find yourself in next.
Had a baby? Got divorced? Turned 50? Landed a new job?
Great! Once you understand the process of discovering your Style Foundations, which are different for every woman, you can repeat the process over and over again to tweak your style whenever and wherever you need.
My next several Style emails will illustrate examples from my own personal structure of style and how it’s simplified my approach to my closet, making purchases and getting dressed.
Yes, I still skim those “must have lists.” But now, I can run their recommendations through my structure of style filter. I know exactly what type of grey and navy sweaters to purchase (if that’s a wardrobe hole I’m aiming to fill). And if nothing fits into my structure, I can pass on it all with ease. No guilt. All from a knowledge of my self and style.
YOUR TURN:
What do you think of the “must have basics” lists?
If you’re intrigued and want to go deeper into your own style foundations - keep reading!
You’re invited to the STYLE LAB
Two things stump people in finding their style: 1) the ability to know their answers to the four style foundations, and 2) the accountability to explore and develop their style muscles as it relates to those four things.
If you are intrigued about learning your style foundations and want to practice experimenting with your own closet, I’d love to invite you to join STYLE LAB which starts April 3.
STYLE LAB is a 6 week, self-directed style program. You’ll receive weekly worksheets in your inbox filled with prompts and experiments to work through. You’ll also get access to two group calls with me for support.
You will not focus on trends or purchasing a whole new wardrobe.
In fact, buying things isn’t even the goal of the lab. The focus is on getting into your closet and treating it like a lab. Through this process, you’ll create the structure of your own style through the program worksheets (the classroom) and learn how apply them to your closet (the lab).
STYLE LAB Goals:
Learn the four components of your style foundations
Put those components into practice in your closet
Prereqs: None! Be open to practice, experimentation, and seeing what works just as much as finding out what doesn’t work.
Format: STYLE LAB is being hosted through Vogue[ish], my Substack newsletter and will be available to all annual subscribers. You’ll get 1 worksheet in your inbox each week for 6 weeks. Do your homework. Post in the private comments for questions / feedback. There will be 2 group calls via Zoom for integrated support.
Schedule:
Worksheets: emailed out every Wednesdays. April 3, 10, 17, 24, May 1, 8
Group calls: Saturdays. April 13 and May 4, 12-1 PM ET. Zoom link will be sent prior to the calls.
Cost: $88. STYLE LAB is being hosted through Vogue[ish], my Substack newsletter and will be available to all annual subscribers. Sign up for the annual membership before 3/31/24 and save 30% - making the program just $61 or $10/week.